SakeFaiHectic morning
by Taito-Yamachi-lvr
Summary: Fai gets drunk. Rated T for slight shonenai and yaoi implications. But nothing actually happens, so don't worry. Chapter 4 is up, soon to be follwed by chapter 5.
1. Default Chapter

Kurogane couldn't believe that everyone had managed to get drunk off such weak sake.

"You guys are idiots," he snapped, watching them meow like cats. Fai seemed to be the leader of all the nonsense. He also seemed to be the one who was the most wasted.

"Kuro-woofy, don't be like that," Fai cooed with that grin of his, hanging on to Kurogane. "You're just grumpy cuz you're not a cat, huh?"

"No," Kurogane snarled, "I'm _quite_ happy to be human, unlike you guys!"

"We're not humans!" Fai said, spinning in a circle with his arms flung up in the air. "We're cats! Tonight's my night to howl, baby! MeeEEooOOOwwWW!"

"WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?" Kurogane snarled. "You drunk bastard!"

"_Y_ou cut it out!" Fai laughed, clinging to Kurogane again. "I love it when you get all snippy, Kurorin."

"Well, stop loving it! And get off me!"

"Ooh, Kuro-woofy, you're so violent!"

"All right, that's it! No more crappy sake for you!"

"Waaah, nyaah, don't leave me Kuro-woofy!"

Kurogane turned to the other two.

"You two should go to bed. Separately," he added.

Syaoran and Sakura seemed to be too drunk to support themselves, so Kurogane carried them up the stairs.

"'Night," he said, shutting the door. They were already fast asleep.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself for the problem downstairs, Kurogane peered over the balcony.

"NYAAAH, KURO-WOOFY, WHY'D YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

Grinding his teeth, Kurogane headed downstairs to face him.

"Kuro-puu!" Fai said happily at the sight of him. "Are you gonna take me upstairs?"

"And do what?" Kurogane asked, raising an eyebrow.

Fai spread his arms wide. "Claim me!"

"NO!"

"Then can you give me a doggy-back ride upstairs?" Fai asked, peering at Kurogane with a woozy smile. "Big Kitty can't walk straight tonight."

"Fine."

"All the way into my room, or I'll sleep with you!"

Kurogane's eye twitched. "I'll carry you up the stairs. I don't wanna see your room. Ever."

"Then I'll sleep with you!"

"No you won't!" Kurogane snarled as he carried Fai up the stairs.

"Meow! Into my room! Meeeeooow!"

"QUIET!"

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!"

Kurogane bounced Fai once so that he would shut up. It didn't work.

"MEeeEEEeOooOooWwwW!"

"God!"

Kurogane dumped Fai at the top of the stairs.

"Now go to bed!"

"With you?"

"NO!"

Kurogane slammed his door closed.

"I'm gonna come get you!" Fai called.

Kurogane turned off the light, climbed into bed, and ignored him.

* * *

"Kuromin, you're drooling on the pillow." 

Kurogane gave a sleepy snort and turned over, muttering an apology.

Then his eyes flew open and he quickly sat up.

* * *

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" 

Syaoran and Sakura looked upstairs. The yell was coming from Kurogane's room!

They both ran up the stairs to see what was wrong.

Syaoran opened the door so fast that it nearly came off its hinges.

"Kurogane-san, what's wrong?" he asked, and then both he and Sakura stared.

Kurogane was in the corner of the room, pointing at Fai, who was lying on the bed. Fai looked rather pleased with himself. Kurogane was speechless with rage.

"You..." he sputtered. "You..."

"Whoo!" Fai said, sitting up. "What happened last night, Kuromin? I suuure feel good!"

"GAH! Don't talk like that!"

"I opened my eyes this morning," Fai said to Syaoran and Sakura, "and I found myself laying next to Kuro-run! What a surprise! Makes me wonder just what went on last night…"

"You were out in the hall!" Kurogane yelled, holding up a pillow for a shield. "You must have snuck in while I was asleep, you dirty bastard!"

Fai laughed. "I don't remember a thing."

"Well _I_ do," Kurogane snarled. "You were hanging all over me last night! You wanted me to take you into your room!"

"Ooh, I sure was bold last night," Fai commented, smiling. "I should drink sake more often."

"No you shouldn't!" Kurogane yelled. "You threatened that you were going to come sleep with me!"

There was an awkward silence, and then Fai broke it.

"Welp, that settles it," Fai said, grinning. "I'm definitely drinking more sake."

"WHAT?"

* * *

Nyaah! Enjoy! 


	2. Neko Fai

This is just another story 'bout Fai and Kurogane. I wasn't sure whether or not to add it as another chapter of the first story, but I guess I will. Enjoy!

* * *

Kurogane stirred a little on his bed, his eyes still closed. There was something on his chest, but he didn't want to open his eyes and find out what it was.

_Mmm, what's this on my chest? It feels like a cat._

"Nyaah!"

_Sounds like a cat, too._

Kurogane liked cats, despite his surly exterior. He decided to pet it. Stroking a cat's back was very soothing, and a good stress reliever. He wished he had a cat to pet whenever he was around Fai. He would probably pet all the fur off the cat in five seconds flat, though.

_Strange, it doesn't FEEL like a cat…_

"Nyaa—ooh, that feels GOOD, Kurosama!"

_WHAT THE?_

Kurogane opened his eyes and raised his head to see Fai lying on him, smiling, his head on Kurogane's chest. He was obviously enjoying the petting he was receiving.

"Mm, pet me some more, Kuro-rin!"

"YOU SON OF A—"

Kurogane rolled off the bed, forcing Fai to leap off. A few seconds later, however, he found himself in Fai's wiry embrace. Kurogane struggled to free himself, but it was nearly impossible. Fai's grip was like a vise, and it was tightening. Kurogane had to remove himself from Fai before one of his ribs broke. Staggering backwards, he managed to grab his sword. He prodded Fai with it.

"Off, you bastard!" he snarled. "NOW!"

Fai yelped at the second prodding and leapt onto the bed, landing on all fours, his back arched. He really did look like a cat. Fai opened his mouth to hiss, but stopped suddenly, with a look of surprise on his face. He straightened and sniffed the air. This was so odd that it knocked Kurogane completely off balance.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kurogane asked, caught off guard by Fai's sniffing.

"Shh!" Fai shhed, holding up a finger. Still sniffing, he dropped to all fours, and began crawling around, sniffing the floor. Kurogane found it strangely attractive, and then sharply reminded himself just who was on the floor. Fai crawled out of the room, followed closely by Kurogane. He crawled down the stairs, sniffing all the way to Sakura and Syaoran's table. He stood up when he reached the table.

"I smell SAKE!" he said, looking at them. "Who has it? Gimme gimme!"

Sakura and Syaoran exchanged a glance.

"Er…Kurogane-san said we weren't supposed to give you any," Syaoran said. "'Cause it makes you drunk."

"It makes you drunk too," Fai pointed out. "Besides, Kuro-puu isn't the boss of me. Gimme!"

"If you're drunk, you might get hurt when we fight Oni," Kurogane snapped, a muscle twitching in his forehead.

"Oh, and then you'd have to carry me home."

"NEVER!"

"Gimme some sake, Syaoran-kun!"

"That does it!"

Kurogane swiped the bottle of sake and chugged it down. The others watched in amazement. Fai pawed at him.

"Kuro-run!" he whined. "I wanted some!"

"Too (burp) bad!" Kurogane said, hiccupping and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "It's all gone!"

"No, I can still smell some. Let me look for it," he said, patting down Kurogane. "Ooh, what's this?"

He pulled a bottle of sake out of Kurogane's baggy shirt.

"Gimme that!" Kurogane yelled, snatching it back. "This isn't for amateurs!

"Oh, it's only for Big Puppies, eh?"

"I'M NOT A PUPPY!"

* * *

Kurogane sliced an Oni in two as Fai nimbly dodged their attacks.

"Is that how you're going to fight the person who's going to come after you?" Kurogane asked, slashing another one.

"Mm?" Fai was concentrating on dodging.

"Are you just going to dodge their attacks and run away when you come face-to-face?" Kurogane asked.

"I don't know," Fai said, back flipping to avoid an attack. "I'd rather not fight."

"You're going to have to stand and fight one day," Kurogane said, slicing another Oni. "Why not try it against the person you're running from?"

"Hm…"

Fai paused for a fraction of a second and an Oni managed to hit him. He flew back, crashing against a wall and landing in a small pile of dust and rubble. He didn't move, and the Oni moved in for another attack. Leaping, Kurogane carved it up, and landed in front of Fai. He glanced over his shoulder at him, and saw that he had been knocked out. Trying to clear his rage, he concentrated on defeating the Oni.

Once they were all destroyed, he picked up Fai's fragile form and carried him back home. How odd. He was doing the thing that he had said that he would never do.

* * *

"Syaoran-kun! Sakura-chan! Fai's hurt!" Kurogane called out as he walked in.

_Thank god Fai's unconscious,_ he thought. _Otherwise, he would never let me live it down…_

"Why, KUROMIN!"

Kurogane squeezed his eyes closed and gritted his teeth.

"Did you carry me all the way here?"

"…No. I dragged you."

"I can't BELIEVE you carried me all this way! You're always so crotchety!"

"I can still dump your sorry ass back in the alley!"

"No, don't do that, I hurt my leg," Fai said, waving it in Kurogane's face. "Kiss it and make it better!"

"NO!"

"Come on! Work that puppy magic!"

"…"

Kurogane dropped Fai to the ground.

"OWW! Why are you so mean, puppy-ruu?"

"I'M NOT A PUPPY, GODDAMNIT!"

"Waah! Syaoran-kun! Sakura-chan! Big Puppy's trying to break my leg even more!"

"NO I'M NOT! YOU'RE JUST A WIMP!"

"Waah, you're mean, Kurotan!"

"And proud of it!"


	3. Switched

Wow, my longest one yet. I was thinking of doing one more, but...Who knows? By the way, does anyone know where I can get scans of chapter 36 (Tsubasa), or volume 6 (also Tsubasa)?

* * *

Fai was relaxing on the couch, taking it easy due to his injured leg. Syaoran-kun and Kuro-puu had gone out to hunt more Oni. Fai hoped they would bring home some presents.

In the kitchen, the tea kettle emitted steam and whistled loudly.

"Sakura-chan! The tea water's ready!" Fai called.

Sakura-chan ran into the kitchen and quickly turned off the heat. Fai heard her moving around as she made him a cup of tea. She came hurrying out, carrying a steaming cup of tea. Fai sat up and took it, smiling.

"Thank you, Sakura-min!" he said, blowing on the tea to cool it off.

"Oh!" She blushed.

Fai looked up.

"What is it?" he asked, confused.

"You…you said Sakura-_min_," she said, looking at her feet. "Don't you mean Sakura-chan?"

"No. You're quite pretty, Sakura-min," he said, smiling. "That name suits you better."

Still blushing, she smiled a little and bowed, thanking him for the compliment. As she turned around and walked to the kitchen to set down the tray, the door swung open, and Kurogane stomped in, followed by Syaoran.

"Hey, wizard," he growled, stomping over to the couch, "That leg of yours better yet?"

Fai studied it. "Nope."

"We got you this, 'cause it's magical or something," Kurogane said, thrusting a bag into Fai's chest. Fai peered inside it.

"Actually, Kurogane picked it out himse-oof!" Syaoran grunted as Kurogane elbowed him.

Fai turned the bag upside-down and shook it. A talisman with two entwined arrows on it fell out.

"Be careful with it!" Kurogane roared. "It cost a lot!"

"Looks interesting," Fai said, studying it. "Thanks, Kuro-run!"

Kurogane's eye twitched.

"It says it switches your soul or something," he said, pulling out instructions. "Be careful what you touch while you're holding it."

Fai eyed Kurogane briefly, then decided switching souls with him wouldn't be very fun. He got up off the couch carefully.

"Well, I'm going to walk around for a bit, to strengthen my leg," Fai said, picking up his cane. "Anyone want to join me?"

He opened the door, and a cat, which was standing on the porch for some reason, freaked out and jumped at Fai's face, catching him offguard. He took a step back, letting out a cry of surprise, and as the cat's paws touched his face, a blinding flash occurred. When it cleared, both Fai and the cat seemed fine, only Fai had dropped the talisman. Kurogane angrily stomped over and picked it up.

"Sheesh, don't drop it, idiot!" he snapped, holding it out to Fai.

Fai dropped on all fours and backed up, staring wide-eyed at Kurogane. He let out a confused meow.

Kurogane stared at him, and then at the cat.

The cat was looking at Fai.

"Oh my," it said in Fai's voice. "I've switched souls with a cat."

Kurogane looked back and forth between the two.

"No way," he said in disbelief.

Fai let out another meow and then rubbed against Kurogane's leg.

"Don't do that!" Kurogane yelled, backing up. "It's creepy!"

"Nyaah, Kuro-chan, guess you're gonna have to take care of my body until we figure out how to switch back," the cat said, stretching.

"This is so weird," Kurogane muttered, staring at the cat-Fai and the Fai-cat.

* * *

Kurogane walked up the stairs, and the Fai-cat (the cat's soul in Fai's body) followed him. 

"Go away!" he said, trying to shoo it. "It's weird when you crawl around like that!"

The Fai-cat said nothing. It just stared up at him and meowed.

Kurogane sighed and went into his room, followed closely by the Fai-cat. Kurogane didn't notice that it had followed him until he sat down on the bed. The Fai-cat jumped up onto his lap and attempted to curl up, purring. Kurgane shoved him off.

"Gah!" he shouted, scooting backwards on the bed. "This is so not right!"

The Fai-cat jumped onto the bed again, but stopped at the sound of cat-Fai's (Fai's soul in the cat's body) voice.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!"

"WHAT?" Kurogane yelled.

* * *

"Just put it in the shower with you," cat-Fai said. 

"NO! This is SO weird!"

"Go on," cat-Fai insisted, waving a paw. "Just call it. It should follow you."

Kurogane started to protest again, and then sighed.

"Come on, cat," he said, walking into the shower.

The Fai-cat followed him, smiling happily.

Kurogane eyed it, wondering how to do this. He grabbed it under its armpits and lifted it up so that it was standing on two legs instead of its hands and knees. It looked back at him and meowed.

Kurogane sighed and turned the water on.

None of his ninja training could have prepared him for what happened next.

The Fai-cat emitted something between a screech and a howl, and latched on to Kurogane's head. Kurogane staggered around, bumping into the sides of the shower and getting soaked, trying to remove the Fai-cat from his head.

"Get off!" he yelled, pushing at it.

It didn't budge an inch. Kurogane kept trying.

"Get! OFF!"

"MrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!"

"What's going on in there?"

"Shut up! This is all YOUR fault!"

"MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!"

"SOMEONE GET THIS GODDAMN THING OFF ME!"

* * *

"Wow. That was pretty funny," cat-Fai commented. 

Kurogane glared at him, sitting on his bed, dripping wet and thoroughly pissed. The Fai-cat had given him a migraine. It was sitting next to him on the bed, also wet and moody.

"Your body is going to have to stay dirty," Kurogane snarled. "'Cause I'm not going to try that again."

"All right, Kuro-pippi, you can clean me when I'm back to normal," cat-Fai said. "You can get me in the shower easy."

"NO!"

The Fai-cat hissed at cat-Fai.

"Yeah, that's right!" Kurogane agreed.

Cat-Fai flicked his tail angrily.

* * *

Playing with the Fai-cat was actually pretty fun, although it took some getting used to. Seeing Fai's long, skinny body batting around a ball of yarn was disturbing. 

Walking upstairs, Kurogane briefly wondered if cat-Fai was jealous of the attention he was giving the Fai-cat. He opened the door to his bedroom, and immediately staggered back, reeling from the smell.

There was a cat poo on his pillow.

Kurogane stared at it, dumbfounded. Apparently cat-Fai _was_ jealous, and decided to show what he thought of Kurogane.

Kurogne's eye twitched.

"That wizard is going to make me despise cats," he muttered through clenched teeth.

* * *

When it was time for bed, Fai-cat climbed upstairs and went into Kurogane's room. It apparently wanted to sleep somewhere warm, and Kurogane's bed was the best choice. Kurogane sighed and made room for it. It stretched next to him, arching its back, then walked onto his lap and curled up. Kurogane stared at it for a while, then settled back on his pillow. This was _so_ weird. He wouldn't be caught dead doing this with the real Fai.

* * *

"Kuro-ruu! Kuro-ruu, get up! We found the cure!"

Kurogane thought for a moment that Fai-cat had learned to talk, but then he realized that Fai had returned to his body. And was sitting on his lap.

"GAH! GET OFF!" Kurogane yelled, yanking the covers up.

Fai leapt off the bed and started jumping around excitedly as Kurogane slowly got out of bed.

"Guess what? Kuro-chan! Syaoran-kun! And I! Found the cure!" he exclaimed, jumping around.

Kurogane watched him. "So…you're both back to normal? Well, as normal as _you_ can get. You're pretty weird."

"You're one to talk, Kuromin."

"Ex_cuuuuuse_ me?"

"Wow! You look pretty mad, Kuro-tan! That muscle's throbbing! The one on your forehead! And you're all red! And—eek!"

Fai raced out into the hall and down the stairs, pursued by a Kurogane intent on throttling him.

"Kyaah! Big Doggy's gonna maul me!"

"DAMN RIGHT I AM!"


	4. Return of the Sake

A cool breeze rustled Kurogane's spiky hair as it lazily blew past him, carrying some leaves off to who-knows-where. Maybe Leafland. Smiling in the sunlight, Kurogane boredly jerked the fishing pole he was holding. He had been sitting here for about an hour with no luck whatsoever. Fishing truly was the best way to do nothing for hours.

Suddenly, there was a tug so strong that Kurogane nearly fell into the water. Desperately reeling in the line, Kurogane leapt to his feet to see what he had caught.

A merman Fai was clinging to the hook and giving Kurogane a lusty look.

"You've caught me, Kuro-pin," he said, leaning towards Kurogane. "What are you going to do with your prize?"

* * *

Kurogane shot straight up in his bed, screaming. His heart was beating so fast that he could almost feel it in his throat. He put a hand over his chest and began trying to calm down. He was almost able to breathe normally when the door burst open. Fai, dressed in a pink apron and holding a bowl of cake batter (some of which was on his face), looked at Kurogane worriedly.

"Kuro-rin! Are you all right?" he asked, sounding panicky.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kurogane said gruffly. He had a strong urge to kill something.

"Oh good. I thought I heard a little girl screaming."

There was an awkward silence.

"If you heard a little_ girl_ screaming, then why would you come to MY room?" Kurogane snarled.

There was another awkward silence.

"I guess I never heard you scream before," Fai said, grinning.

"WHY YOU--!"

Fai barely managed to slam the door closed before the sword Kurogane hurled at him became lodged into the door.

* * *

After fuming for a while, Kurogane decided to head downstairs. Maybe he could make plans to kill the wizard. But Fai was a slippery devil, and had proved quite hard to kill. The tricky bastard had actually ignored the giant-leaves-over-a-pit-of-spikes trap. Clever, very clever, especially considering the carpet that surrounded the trap was green.

Kurogane sat down at the table, solemnly swearing to never go fishing for as long as he lived.

Something clinked from behind the kitchen counter. A clink that sounded suspiciously like…a bottle of sake.

"What are you up to, witch-man?" Kurogane said suspiciously, standing up and peering around.

"(hiccup) Meeeooooowwww!"

"Oh Christ, not this again," Kurogane muttered to himself.

"K-(hic) Kuro-woofy!" Fai called happily, trying to stand. The sake, however, had messed up his motor skills pretty bad, so he kinda fell over to one side. He decided to prop himself up against the counter. "I know a seeeecreeeet!"

"What?" Kurogane demanded, his hand on the hilt of his sword. If Fai told anyone that Kurogane screamed like a little girl, then—

"It's only you and me today, puppy!" Fai cried happily, throwing his hands up into the air and nearly falling over again.

Kurogane was dumbfounded.

"What?"

"I sent Syaoran-chan and Sakura-min out for the _whole_ day! It's just us!"

"No…dear Lord, NO!"

"Wuz wrong, puppy?" Fai slurred, staggering over to Kurogane and hanging all over him. "Dontcha like kitties?"

"I do, but you're pushin' it, wizard," Kurogane snarled.

"Liar!" Fai yelled drunkenly. He hit Kurogane with his fist, and Kurogane was surprised that it actually hurt. "You hate kitties like me!"

"That's because you're not really a kitty," Kurogane explained, trying to stay calm and not shake Fai violently. "You. Are. A HUMAN."

"Doesn't matter!" Fai cried. "You hate me either way! You don't even give me a chance! Looka me! I'm all lovesick for you, and you…treat me like crap! Crap! Crappy crap crap!"

"Man, you're _seriously_ drunk, Fai," Kurogane said, amazed at the wizard's behavior. "What the hell are you drinking?"

Fai shrugged.

"Sake, soda, bleach…it doesn't matter. I can never get drunk enough to score with you!"

"Thank God for that."

"See! Mean! Bad puppy! Very bad puppy! Gotta punish you!"

"You stay away from me!"

"I just want _someone's_ love…"

Fai took a step forward and tripped, releasing the sake bottle and falling flat on his face. Kurogane tensed, ready to leap backwards if Fai got up again, but a moment later, the wizard began snoring. Kurogane sighed and scratched his head, staring at Fai. He looked kind of…womanly in that pink apron. Cute, almost. Kind of helpless. The type of person Kurogane hated but would secretly love to protect. Right now, though, Fai needed to have his face removed from the tile floor. Slinging him over his shoulder, Kurogane hauled Fai upstairs to his room.

As he headed up the stairs with his cargo, Fai mumbled something.

"…so sorry, Kurogane."

"What? You're not calling me one of your stupid names?"

Fai shook his head.

"Why not? Are you so loaded that you can't remember any of them?"

"They irritate you. Make you hate me. I want love, so I'll stop."

Kurogane dropped Fai onto his bed(Fai's, not Kurogane's…sorry, fangirls). He sighed.

"I don't _hate_ you, wizard. Well, not exactly."

"Mmph…I love it when you chase me."

"…Fai? How drunk are you?"

"I love you!"

"OK, drunk enough for me to admit this and for you to forget it. I, uh…like it when you tease me."

"…"

"Wizard? You better not have been faking, you sly bastard!"

"Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore…"

"Ah. Good."

Kurogane shut the door behind him and quietly went into his own room to let Fai sleep off his horrible drinking experience. Kurogane decided to take a little nap of his own. He laid down on top of his covers and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

_Something smells like booze. Oh damn. Is it…Fai?_

Kurogane pried an eye open and saw Fai lying on the bed, looking at him. Kurogane immediately leapt off the bed and moved backwards towards his sword, not taking his eyes off Fai.

"Don't get any funny ideas, wizard!" he warned, feeling around behind him.

"I'm not drunk," Fai groaned, holding his head and getting up off the bed. "I have a killer hangover."

Kurogane chewed his lip.

"Do you remember anything?"

"No, nothing. Oh wait…I think you said…you liked it when I teased you."

"Uh…damn, you sure do imagine weird things when you drink, Fai! How the hell did you get another bottle of sake, anyway?"

"I bought it, silly," Fai laughed, sitting down in a chair a little too quickly. He grimaced. "I'm old enough to buy it, you know."

"Damn. I'll have to keep a closer eye on you, you sneaky bastard."

"You better. And when I see you watching me, I'll do this!"

Fai stood up and shook his butt, and Kurogane quickly turned away from him. Jesus, why had his nose started bleeding!

"Are you okay, Kuro-ru?"

"YES! GET OUT! KURO-RU NEEDS SOME ALONE TIME! NOW!"

"Alrighty! I'll bake us a cake!" Fai called as he shut the door.

Kurogane waited until Fai's footsteps faded, then pinched his nose to stop the blood.

_Damn that bastard's ass-shaking._


	5. KuroDoggy

When Fai found a bloody towel in Kurogane's room and confronted him with it, Kurogane said it was from an injury, and not from a nosebleed he had suddenly gotten from seeing Fai wiggle his butt. That, of course, led to Kurogane being put on a couch and given tea, just like Fai had done earlier when his leg was injured. So now Kurogane was stuck at home in a bad temper.

"Damn wizard," he muttered to himself. "This is all _his_ fault!"

Fai had to take Kurogane's place and go out to hunt Oni with Syaoran. Kurogane hoped the poor boy was still alive. That magic-using fool wasn't much of a fighter. The kid was all right, but if Fai came home all beaten up, then he was going to get an earful from Kurogane. Fai shouldn't get his skinny ass all beaten up trying to earn money. He could shake it at clubs to earn money, though…

_Gah! What the HELL am I thinking?_

Fortunately, the door opened, and Fai and Syaoran came in to save Kurogane from his thoughts.

"Kuro-pin!" Fai called, holding something behind his back. "Guess what we brought home!"

Kurogane tried to see what was behind the wizard's wiry back.

"What?" he asked, leaning one way and then the other.

"It's…a surprise!" Fai laughed, holding out a paper bag. Kurogane snatched it from him and ripped it open. "I picked it out myself."

Kurogane stared at the familiar talisman he had gotten for Fai so long ago.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Fai asked, sitting down on the couch and getting a faraway look in his eyes. "Ah yes…good times. You still haven't given me a bath, you know."

"What are you planning?" Kurogane asked suspiciously, inching away from Fai.

"Nothing! Just a little something to cheer you up!"

"…I'm returning it. This piece of junk caused enough problems _last_ time."

Kurogane opened the door and saw a black dog on the front step. He glowered over his shoulder at Fai, who had come up behind him.

"I suppose the dog was supposed to leap on me while I was holding the talisman so that we would switch bodies, and you could fulfill _all_ your dirty little fantasies while I could only bite you," Kurogane said. "Well. It's not going to happen. I'm not touching that dog."

Fai merely smiled at Kurogane.

Kurogane frowned and stepped back.

"What are you-"

Kurogane toppled backwards over the dog, and as the two touched, a blinding flash occurred. When Fai could see again, Kurogane had dropped the talisman.

"Yes!" Fai cried. "There's so much I have planned for you!"

"You get away from my body!" Dog-Kuro growled, baring his teeth. "I'll bite your leg off!"

"Here we go upstairs!" Fai said in a sing-song voice as Kuro-dog padded up the stairs after him. "Bath time, woof woof! It's a good thing doggies like baths more than kitties, or I would be in trouble!"

Dog-Kuro scrambled up the stairs after them, cursing all the way.

"Get your paws off my body!" Dog-Kuro snarled, biting Fai on the leg.

"Hey!" Fai cried, nearly falling. "Get off! Kuro-woof needs a bath!"

Fai suddenly got very quiet.

"Wait…" he said slowly. "Maybe…I can give you _both_ a bath!"

Kuro-dog barked happily and panted, while Dog-Kuro voiced his protest in an angry howl.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO—OOO—OOOOOO!"

"You first, puppy," Fai said, picking up Dog-Kuro.

"You put me down RIGHT NOW!" Dog-Kuro snarled. "I'm not taking a bath! At least not one where YOU'RE involved!"

"Calm down, Big Puppy!" Fai said, heading into his room. "I'm not giving you a bath. You can sleep with me if you'd like until we find the cure. You can sleep with me after that too. _I_ wouldn't mind."

"NO!" Dog-Kuro snarled. "Puppies hate kitties! I'll kill you!"

Kuro-dog padded in and stared at the two of them, its tongue hanging out of its mouth.

"Jeez, I look like an idiot!" Dog-Kuro said angrily.

"You do all the time, Kuro-woofy. Don't worry about it."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Here, boy!" Fai called, clapping his hands. Kuro-dog trotted over by him and sat down. Fai scratched Kuro-dog's hair.

"It feels kinda greasy…do you put gel in there, Kuro-min?"

"Stop touching my hair! I'll bite you!"

"La dee da…hey, look! He jumped up on me!"

"NOOO! Bad former body! Get off that bastard!"

"Oooooh! I'll bet HE'LL sleep with me!"

"Oh no he WON'T!"

* * *

"Syaoran!" Dog-Kuro said, trotting into his room. "Do you have the recipe for the cure you used to change Fai back to normal when he was a cat?"

Syaoran stared at the Dog-Kuro for a moment, and then nodded.

"It's right here," he said, holding up a vial. "It works for anyone who has switched bodies with an animal."

"Good," Dog-Kuro said. "Use it on me quickly, before that wizard does anything strange with my body!"

Dog-Kuro closed his eyes as Syaoran uncorked the vial and tipped it over his head.

* * *

Kurogane woke up on a bed back in his normal body.

"Hah!" he said. "Let's see that wizard try anything funny now!"

He lay there smiling smugly for a few moments, and then became aware of a pressure around his waist.

"What the-"

He looked down and saw Fai's arms wrapped around him. The wizard himself was fast asleep with his head on Kurogane's chest.

Kurogane immediately leapt to his feet, but Fai was still clinging to him. After several attempts to pry the skinny man off himself, Kurogane resorted to drastic measures.

"Oh my God! Yaoi!"

Fai snapped awake immediately.

"Where?"

"Nowhere, you pervert. I needed you off me," Kurogane said crossly.

"Well…if there's no yaoi around…let's make some ourselves!"

"NO! Sweet Jesus! Someone help me!" Kurogane screamed as Fai dragged him to the bed.

* * *

Well look who finally updated! Moi! Sorry if these last two chapters aren't as good as the first three. Five chapters is ALL I'm writing for this. Oh yes, and I PROMISE to answer all my reviewers if they have any questions. I WILL update my other stories, I swear it. And I'm writing a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic. It might suck, though, so be warned. I love Johnny Depp. Gene Wilder's cool too.

Comments. I love my commentors. I love them good.


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